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The darkness overcomes soul soars to the other plain [entries|friends|calendar]
And you will come to find that we are all one mind

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[ website | -->Read me..biotch<--- ]
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haha...im smileys:) [24 Nov 2006|02:12am]
ArcaneXEssence: :)
StarLitVisionBoy: :)
ArcaneXEssence: do i look lik mt leafs?
ArcaneXEssence: b.c u look like the monketsa
ArcaneXEssence: ll
StarLitVisionBoy: yeah u do.......and I def. think those leafs want to fuck those monkeys
ArcaneXEssence: haha
StarLitVisionBoy: hehe
ArcaneXEssence: LMAO
ArcaneXEssence: omg
ArcaneXEssence: can i mkae that an awya mesage
ArcaneXEssence: lmao
StarLitVisionBoy: sure haha
2 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

HHAHA [29 Oct 2006|08:31pm]
ArcaneXEssence: we re ging 2 make fun with this
ArcaneXEssence: we are new people lol
ArcaneXEssence: ready
ArcaneXEssence: 1
ArcaneXEssence: 2
ArcaneXEssence: 3
ArcaneXEssence: i mean
ArcaneXEssence: 3
ArcaneXEssence: 2
ArcaneXEssence: `
ILujUsTiNt lake: lol
ArcaneXEssence: fuck i messed itup
ILujUsTiNt lake: The last message was not sent because you are over the rate limit. Please wait until sending is re-enabled and send the message again.

ArcaneXEssence: ready
ArcaneXEssence: 3
ArcaneXEssence: 2
ArcaneXEssence: 1
ArcaneXEssence: COMMITTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
ArcaneXEssence: omg tha so funny im amignt eh me away mesasge
2 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

my quote!! read now bitches! [23 Jul 2006|01:40am]
[ mood | cranky ]

"To love animals is more than giving them homes, or bigger cages..giving a few percentage of animals comfort and love IS NOT enough. BY stating the words "I LOVE ANIMALS" you are saying you will not support their TORTURE...in other words one will not EAT their dead corpse, buy products that were brutally tested on them, wear their once alive furs and skins, or get enjoyed out of their misery so you can be entertained...If you support any of those listed, please do not say YOU LOVE ANIMALS..please say "i like certain animals and only care about the well being of some animals, others could suffer as long as it doesnt effect me"-ME

2 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

This is from my baby..aint he sweet :) [03 Jun 2006|02:01pm]
[ mood | full ]

Whistle the wind while the sky pours rain, pickles and breads what keeps her sane, picture sunset with the night to maintain, starry eyes and a perfect frame, rivals the beauty of the milky way, our talks chase the clouds away, cause together we make sunrays that shine down on shitty days.

<3 u know who lol

Reaching out to embrace the random

Vin Vin amkes me lauigh!! [28 Mar 2006|08:58pm]
[ mood | content ]

iquidthunder01: well look who it is
ArcaneXEssence: VI VIN!
liquidthunder01: no, its gurdy
liquidthunder01: im vin vin
ArcaneXEssence: o HAHA
liquidthunder01: cantalope
ArcaneXEssence: yes hol on sir!!
liquidthunder01: all i needed to do was ask?
liquidthunder01: ALL THIS WASTED TIME
liquidthunder01: CAAAAAAANTALOOOOOOPE
ArcaneXEssence:
liquidthunder01: how dare you

Auto response from ArcaneXEssence: Staring at a Parisian sex flick where the characters don't meet,
the characters don't speak, and the characters are
like mirrors facing mirrors:
space always expanding.

So put another coin in and turn the crank until the frames
cease to move and the movie turns into a photo,
a photo the size of my fist I hope she knows.



liquidthunder01: im insulted
liquidthunder01: so...no cantalope then eh
liquidthunder01: its ok, i really wanted honey dew
liquidthunder01: but thats for lettin me down
liquidthunder01: ima go cry and eat this fruit
liquidthunder01: in teh dark
liquidthunder01 signed on at 1:51:28 AM.
liquidthunder01 is idle at 1:51:51 AM.
liquidthunder01 is no longer idle at 1:52:04 AM.
liquidthunder01 is idle at 2:18:12 AM.
liquidthunder01 is no longer idle at 2:20:27 AM.
liquidthunder01 is idle at 2:40:14 AM.
liquidthunder01 is no longer idle at 2:42:03 AM.
liquidthunder01 signed on at 3:37:41 AM.
liquidthunder01 signed on at 3:57:14 AM.
liquidthunder01 signed on at 4:11:27 AM.
liquidthunder01 signed on at 4:31:19 AM.
liquidthunder01 signed on at 5:00:10 AM.
liquidthunder01 signed on at 5:07:09 AM.
liquidthunder01 signed on at 6:17:09 AM.
liquidthunder01 signed on at 6:38:07 AM.
liquidthunder01 signed on at 7:16:43 AM.
liquidthunder01 signed on at 7:38:38 AM.
ArcaneXEssence: ur so funy i love u
Auto response from liquidthunder01: I am away from my computer right now.

ArcaneXEssence: im adding tat 2 my journal entry
ArcaneXEssence: that really made me laugh

1 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

A QUIZ LOOK DUDES!! [30 Jan 2006|11:06pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Shari
2. MOm
3.Sharnina

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Shariz8
2. tasteofenvy
3. itsmytimeshine

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DONT LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my weight
2. my nose
3. my broken finger..its looks weird

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my eyes
2. my boobs
3. my legs


THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Polish
2. Russian
3. French...yet im really bad at speaking it haha

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. the botton of oceans, rivers, lakes, and anyting that isnt pool water
2. Being in the woods/alleys/dark places by myself
3. death

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. online
2. playing with pets
3. seeing friends

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. a kewl jacket
2. red tank top
3. work out pants

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A FRIENDSHIP:
1. fun
2. loyalty
3. love

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. loyalty
2. fun
3. love

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order):
1. I love animals
2. Ill always tell a person how i look at them and stand up to them
3. trampolines are kewl

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. this is kinda sick, but w/e...whether tehy look like a good fuck or not
2. physical appearence
3. personality

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE SAME SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU:
1. their presentation
2. physical features
3. thier weight

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. music and concerts
2. hanging out with friends and being crazy with Jen
3. having fun

THREE THINGS YOU WANT REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. some good sex
2. a doorknob on my door and for this stupid computer to stop being retarted
3. a million dollars and a boyfriend

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING:
1. nutrionist
2. busines woman
3. something with animals or the environment

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. vermont
2. to a amusement park
3. hollywood


THREE KID'S NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Jason
2. Brissen
3. Alyse

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Be happy
2. Accomplish animal liberation adn free all the animals
3. FInd a pegasus and have a rollar coaster in my backyard

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A DUDE:
1. I burp alot
2. I like some girls
3. I like race cars

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL:
1. Im vaine about how i dress
2. Ilove feeling pretty
3. melodrama

THREE CELEB CRUSHES:
1. I dont know their names
2. hmmm
3. yea smae answer

8 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

And our roles have been filled, as they should with hidden messages in secret songs [28 Jan 2006|12:51am]
[ mood | confused ]

So this will be a better entry, unlike my last one. :)

Well, yesturday I hung out with Mike and Weasley again, they are MEAN TO ME! but i still love them because they are awesome and fun and make me laugh!! I happen to be a fan of random people who say random things and make stupid jokes that dont make sense, hence MIKE AND WEASLEY! Well anyways, we went to the mall and hung out there. MIkes birhtday was today so i bought him a present, WHICH HE SHOULD FEEL SPECIAL BECUASE I NEVER BUY ANYBDOY ANYTHING!!! haha..idk when the last time i bougth someone a present that wasnt $2 was! I bought him a CD and then hes like "im going 2 return this ans buy another one" i was like ugh!! how rude!!! haha, it was funny tho becuase the CD he wanted wasnt even there!! haha u loser!! Then i saw Shannon who i havent seen in awhile, she isnt a vegetarian anymore!! errr, its okay tho. Then we drove around and just blasted music..I was annoying them the whole time!! haha they told me im to immature, i am! My dad was trying 2 have a talk with me the otehr day about how "my immaturity disturbs him." err it was kinda funny tho, i began to laugh adn was telling him how im going 2 be 19 soon and i only have these next 6 months 2 be immature. HE didnt respoind to that to well, err!! He walked away!! haha. WEll anyways, me adn wes and mike stopped at the car places, i really want a nice car!! any ideas? i am banking on a WRX or an EVO or something :)...If u know anything about cars please lemme know!! thanks u..

Today I hung out iwth Jimmy, I saw him at the mall yesturday and we chilled 2day it was kewl. I hungout wit some of his friends, they were cool. hes nice and he listens 2 good music!! hes going 2 burn my Cds woohoo, i need some good cds!! yayaa

Me adn Jen talk alot now, shes always over here, I LOVE HER!! yaya BFFS!! im so glad everything worked out and talk 2 Jen and Bari and Randi again!! they are awesome, they are the people i grew up with!! yaya I LOVE THEM!! me and jen have way 2 much fun <#3 we are so random and funny!! yaayaa

IM oging 2 the city 2morrow to shop for wedding dresses, my brothers getting married in May!! im excited!! CITY ALL DAY!! im seeing my friend Rob who lives there, he said we hangout yaya!!
Some stuff 2 read )

Guys suck!! err it makes me angry...and sad!!!

Ok well..gnight dudes..

comment if ur kewl!! :)

***Shari*** ;)

1 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

[27 Jan 2006|12:01am]
So its been a few days...I get lazy with this, although i tell myself all the things i want 2 include on my journal, hahaha. Im such a dork. Well i got some more new clothes, soem kewl jeans skirts and stufff.. Hurray!!

MIKE IS AWESOME!! HAPPY BIRTHDDAY!!! I forgot how to make LJ kewl, but when i do this happy birthday thing wil be awesome adn better <333
2 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

Thinking..im def. kinda sad [23 Jan 2006|02:31am]
I feel left behind in so many ways..I used 2 have awesome real friends and i fell behind and fucked up and now htey are all atr college adn im home. I graduated HS 6 months after them and am going 2 collefe a year after them..It really like makes me so angry ay myself and i just wish i was in college like them and feeling part of that crowd again. I had such awesome loyal friends and although we still talk its not the same....I dont think it ever will be. ONly with mea dn Jen will it always be teh same. BUt like when i talk 2 Randi, i know things are not like they used 2 be, we used 2 be inseperable and tell eachother everything, we used 2 be like 2 pees in a pod. ANd now its just different, i just know it is. SHe calls me her best friend and shit but its still differnet, like all her memories are with like Adrienne and Lisa and people and im just kinda Shari. I looked at her myspace and i wasnt even on her top 8 and it hurts me so bad. I wish i neevr thru these girls away, i wish things never were th way they used 2be with me and Randi. IM so dam jealous, im like hysterically crying. Me and randi were best friends since kindergarden, we grew up 2gether and i fucked her over and the percussions are hitting really hard. I know she loves me but itll never be teh same again. Just too much has happened in the past 3 years. I like feel my heart sink when i think aboutit, it hurts to even write this...I want my best friend back...I lover her so dam much!! i hate myself..i am such a bad friend!!
Reaching out to embrace the random

Thinking..im def. kinda sad [23 Jan 2006|02:31am]
I feel left behind in so many ways..I used 2 have awesome real friends and i fell behind and fucked up and now htey are all atr college adn im home. I graduated HS 6 months after them and am going 2 collefe a year after them..It really like makes me so angry ay myself and i just wish i was in college like them and feeling part of that crowd again. I had such awesome loyal friends and although we still talk its not the same....I dont think it ever will be. ONly with mea dn Jen will it always be teh same. BUt like when i talk 2 Randi, i know things are not like they used 2 be, we used 2 be inseperable and tell eachother everything, we used 2 be like 2 pees in a pod. ANd now its just different, i just know it is. SHe calls me her best friend and shit but its still differnet, like all her memories are with like Adrienne and Lisa and people and im just kinda Shari. I looked at her myspace and i wasnt even on her top 8 and it hurts me so bad. I wish i neevr thru these girls away, i wish things never were th way they used 2be with me and Randi. IM so dam jealous, im like hysterically crying. Me and randi were best friends since kindergarden, we grew up 2gether and i fucked her over and the percussions are hitting really hard. I know she loves me but itll never be teh same again. Just too much has happened in the past 3 years. I like feel my heart sink when i think aboutit, it hurts to even write this...I want my best friend back...I lover her so dam much!! i hate myself..i am such a bad friend!!
Reaching out to embrace the random

WEEeeee ------ LEts mosh!!! hahahaha [21 Jan 2006|01:20am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Soooooooooooooooooooo...I started my first JOb on wednesday at the nursery, it was stressful..the kisd are wild and i cant turn my back for like a sec. ANd if its not one of them being trouble makers its another. but w/e i can deal. I think i got the job at applebees, adn im applying for other jobs. I wanan make monneyyy and buy kewl stuff :). I also got my permit, wow im going 2 be driving..sweet stuff!!! weeeee, imma get a kewl car 2..:) im awesome!!!!!!

Today was fun..I went shopping at this Mall in Jersey, got some nice new clothes. Oh yea, im not gothic anymore if anyone doenst know already. I dont have facial piercings either. SO i went shopping and i got kewl clothes with colors :) sexyyy...woohoo, i took pictures ill post them sometime...

After, i went and visited my frienf Gary at work, I havent seen him in awhile. He looks so cute, he asked me out 2 dinner :) how sweet. MY mom thought he was adorable hahaha. THen after i hun gout iwth 2 really awesome people, MIke and Weasley, they are so fun!! they were trying 2 teach me how 2 mosh it was so funny!! i LOve them! we are going 2 go to teh ctiy 2gether and stuff and concerts, weee!!! excisting <33 uguys, ur so kewl.

JEns been here alot, shes awesome!! shes my girl!! we do such random and fun things and we scream alot and my parents get mad. I alwasy blast us screaming and my parents scream at us..

OMG the funniest thing happened yesturday...SO my friend steve came over to my house yesturday for the first time and hes like really shy. SO he couldnt find my house and twice he went to the wrong house. SO when he got my house, me and jen played a trick. Jen dressed up as an old lady and asnwered the door and she goes "are u the paper boy" and slams the door and starts screaming "mom, teh paper boys here" (which i was the mom and it was 6 oclock at night) so i start screaming "Shut the fuck up asshole." THEn jen opens the door again and goes "who are u looking for, uhave the worng house, come in sir." and steve looked so scared!! omg it was so funny!! SO finally we let him in and he was telling us how scared he was and shit and then Jen leaves..SO my dad comes home and he scares Steve and steves in my room telling me hes scared 2 go downstairs and that he thinks my dad is realy scary...so my dad calls us down for dinner and steve goes "im scared og ur dad, im not staying for dinner, im leaving, enjoy ur dinner" and then my screams up to us he goes "Shari get fown here fro dinner" then he goes "STEVE!! GET DOWN HERE FOR DINNER RIGHT NOW" omg!! my dad met the kid for seriously 45 seconds..omg steve was so terrified, he was so scaread he wouldnt even eat!! hahahah He goes to me "imnot hungry, im forcing myself to eat" and my mom was telling him how she prepared the dinner omg!! the poor thing!!! hahahhaha it was great...

I talked 2 my camp friend TAI 2day!! i love my tai!! were going 2 chill soon, shes like hte kewlest girl i know <33 dude!!!

Other than that, i dont sleep alot. Its kinda bad, i go to sleep realy late but wake up early!! errr not good. My mom gets really angry..Im also taking drivers ed soon and an SAT course, im going 2 sart applying to colleges i wanan go to ALbany and do business, or something like that. MY brother things ALbanys the ebst school for me, im seeing next week so well go over everything. Its really weird, i really hated ELAn but if i never went there, i probably would have never go a high school diploma or gone to college...My parent r really strict now and its annoying but before they had given up on me and probably would have let me be trailor trash. I reallly was becoming that, ym life was OUT OF CONTROl and now i know myself...I see like epoplpe i used 2 hangout with, its so bad..they are like in and out of jail, on drugs, dont wrok, just plain low lifes and its stupid..ewww im so glad i didnt sink to deep.

WEll comment please, i like comments, ill post pics soon..CALl me 2, known ever calls me haha...and my sn is: arcanexessence

SHARI!! <333

4 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

Wake me up 'cause I can't sleep..Call me anytime u needd [18 Jan 2006|10:32am]
[ mood | rejected ]

I havent updated in awhile..Ive been okay i guess..I got a job and im going for more interviews, i wanna make alot of money :) and buy myself kewl stuff. Dan was here yesturday adn he taught me how to play alittle guitar, it was fun, i can play a song:).I want to practice and become good yaya.

Me and my parents ahve been fighting alot, they are really annoying. SOme of its my fault, but i do belie they are very dramatic and crazy sometimes and it sucks. I dont reallt talk 2 anybody, which is kidna depressing but its okay i guess. Jen is here alot and I talk to MIke G and Randi everyday. MY brother is getting married soon, in MAy and were going 2 Cancum, im really excited :). I am going 2 leave the country, i neevr have b4!!! hahahhaa. I like about 10 guys right now and tehy lik eall hate me but watever, i can deal. I dont think i need a relationship right now because its too soon.

If u want to call and say hello u can, IM me: arcanexessence and ill give u my number..LIke no one ever calls err...

Im goig 2 shower comment :)

6 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

ANSWER PLEASE.. [10 Jan 2006|11:02am]
SO general questions, I would apprieciate if u answered..

I dont have piercings anymore, should I get everything repierced?

Does anybody know how to go around computer restrictions, my dad put them all over my computer b/c he found some ugh, pics of me awhile back...But i wanan DL music

When i had disappeared awhile ago, what were the rumors of where i was?

Does anyone know how to make my myspace site really funky? mines so boring looking?

IS anybody going 2 be going to college in September and if so where?
19 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

[09 Jan 2006|10:17am]
Being home is so weird...woah...

FOr anyone who was unfortunate to go to Elan..the rumor is NOT true...MARK ROSENBURG is not dead, I was in one of his smoking 2 house general meetings
8 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

IM HOME!!!!!!!!!!! wooohoooo [07 Jan 2006|06:04pm]
SO ive been gone for other a year now....its been crazy...But i am tryinig 2 get my life 2gether and move one with everything....

The place i went to was nutss.... here read this...I hvae my own story but it will take WAY to long to write....so read this for now

"This is a truly scary twisted sick fucking thing that we have all been through. Anyone, who sits and reads the posts on this site will realized that we have so many different memories, and different stories. Some of us remember things so differently than others. The human mind can only take so much, and Elan has put my soul through a ringer. No one can be trusted. I have trusted many people that I have met on Elan Alum and in other elan forums. They are mostly sickened people. Ken is holding onto his shit by the skin of his teeth right now, and he will be exposed any day. I wish to hell we could all stop this crazyness. I just pray that the doors of Elan will one day close forever. I have this dream of wrecking balls crashing through the very rooms where I once stood in front of 50 screaming brainwashed children, all scared. Crashing through the walls of the rooms where I was blasted for things that I could not humanly control. I want to see the Baseball field and the soccer fields ripped apart, in memory of physically being pushed past the point where I could breath or even see. I dream about those hideous beds being thrown into a landfill so than no one will ever have to wake up with a sore neck and back day after day for 3 years, and function as COF or COD or SOF on no sleep. Spinning around in circles, functioning these pointless jobs, feeling ill from the disgusting food, feeling sick from the filthy air. Sitting so close to each other that you can feel breath all over you. The breath of the girl who just talked about raping her younger sister in womens issues. Wrecking balls bashing through the bathrooms where we repeatedly took 3 minute long freezing cold showers with no privacy or room to move. Breaking through the dorm walls where I once layed in bed crying and holding myslef for three hours because I was not allowed to simply urinate. Sitting in those dark rooms with the lights buzzing day in and day out. Listening to the stories of ruined souls, ruined lives. Corrupt staff treating us like we were Jews in the Holocaust. Staff being hired that sexually harrased me. I dream that elan will be shut down, broken down, discarded, and rid from this earth. Someday in the future no elan residents will exist, we will all have passed on and there will be nothing left at the end of that stomach turning winding road. Maybe a family will build a summer home down by the lake. And relax in front of the water. There will be no zones, no house line up, no headcounts. People should be treated like people. I was a fucking sardine for 3 years. If anyone can say that Elan is good, or right I cannot understand how we are the same species. Joe Ricci is dead. Now can't we let his hideous money making evil hearted scheme of a fascist boot camp be put to rest. I don't want to lose on more night of sleep thinking about the images that creeped out of the walls while i was forced to stare into a corner. Or How I conformed and yelled, I yelled soooo much. At people who never deserved it. We were at elan because we needed guidance. We needed love. We needed help. What we got is a very bleak future of rotten memories and feelings of worthlessness. The memories of Marc Rosenburg telling me I am nothing but a whore, how worthless I am, how no one will ever love me. How I am at the bottom of society, how the world doesn't need me. What a great man he was. A 15 year old girl should b=never hear that. The emotional abuse was too much for me, and I want so hard to let go. "

"my name is jackie and i was a resident at "elan school" in poland springs, maine. i was there from september 1979-november of 1982. i went through months of living in corners in dissassociative states of mind, self-harm, extreme emotional and physical abuses. things from 30 people at a time screaming in my face and spitting on me to being placed in restraints, to being placed in the boxing ring to fight with/against other peers as disciplinary measures.i went through extreme humiliation and degradation.my story begins at the age of thirteen. i am diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, narrcissitic personality disorder, anti-social personality disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder with psychotic features, and dissassociative identity disorder, also with severe major depressive disorder. i am 37 years old and there is rarely a day that goes by that i dont have flashbacks or go through some kind of emotional turmoil due to the abuses i suffered during my stay in the "program". it is my hope that this site will help bring closure not only to myself, but to others as well. you can contact me on the message board. thanks to all who come in here and i hope you find what you are looking for.
8 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

[29 Dec 2004|04:13am]
click away



fur sucks

vegan power

haha

haha

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9 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

[28 Dec 2004|10:07am]
Yesturday was fun....I love Corinne and GIdget
Reaching out to embrace the random

[26 Dec 2004|01:11pm]
[ mood | amused ]

Im abck home and eveyrthing is oaky...me and jen are going 2 hang out 2day yaya...she got a quad lucky her..

my family come over yesturday it was fune im startying 2 feel happy again


I NEED A BOYFRIEND!

1 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

[21 Dec 2004|08:56am]
[ mood | blah ]

IM home!! I threatneed to kill myseld and the cops took me 2 valhalla, the hospital...it suxed but i met a really awesome girl there named Gighet....

My home life sux, i wanna go back to four winds but myabe things will get better..

fcck

5 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

[12 Dec 2004|03:38am]
[ mood | happy 2 see Bill ]

so yea i got kicked our of school and thrn got kicked out my house for getimg kicked out of school....so right now im at BIll and he says hi :+)

6 Cross the line|Reaching out to embrace the random

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